It’s been very busy for me the last several weeks. Months, really. I know that I haven’t given myself to catch my breath. I also know that I waste a lot of time when not pulled in multiple directions. Productivity is so much easier when other people are depending on me. Here are five things that have happened since the last time I wrote, and five things that I want to have happen by this time next month. Let’s see how many I can manage!

Done:
1. Finished writing latest novel. Successfully defended it for honors.
2. Turned down a full-time, paid internship that I really wanted—without knowing whether I had a backup plan.
3. Received and accepted a job offer to work at a press that I love with people I adore.
4. Emailed editor needing a reassuring hand. Got it. Loved it.
5. Graduated. BAM!

To do:
1. Formalize a writing group idea that has been bouncing back and forth between friends.
2. Revise latest novel.
3. Learn all the rules of new job—and execute them successfully while half of the office is away next week!
4. Sit down to work out budget.
5. Begin to read all the books that I was so excited to buy but have since been waiting for my attention—some of them for several years.

Oh, yes, and publish a book! I’ll be reading in NY this summer. Details to follow but I hope some of you can come! I’m so excited about it!

This I Believe

I believe in listening to children.

In Thailand I am a luk kung. My aunt says it when we’re at the market together and she runs into someone she knows. My mother says it when trying to explain to government officials why I don’t have a Thai passport. I’m often embarrassed by how little Thai I know, but I’ve always known what that word means, what it sounds like.

In the summer of 2010 I was living in Thailand without my mother for the first time in my life, teaching English at a small elementary school in the South, where racial tensions are high. It was also a school, I learned upon arrival, attended by students who couldn’t afford the private institution a few kilometers away, and by students with mild to moderate learning disabilities.

The teachers weren’t always prepared for handling these challenges, and I certainly wasn’t either. But I did have a few things on my side: I was young, I liked playing games, and I let the youngest girls braid my hair.

One day I was tutoring a student outside of class, at her parents’ house, when her uncle stopped by. He gave me a look that I’m very used to getting everywhere in the world.

“Kon Thai?” he asked, after a few moments. Are you Thai?

“Mai,” I said, wanting to be honest. “Luk kung.” Until then, I’d only heard the word spoken by other people. It felt strange to hear it coming out of my own mouth. Luk Kung. Half-child.

As children grow up, we teach them what not to say. We teach them that certain things are inappropriate to talk about, or should be talked about only indirectly. Adults are wonderfully creative with indirect language, making metaphors and innuendo and protecting ourselves with hypotheticals, but children don’t have any use for that kind of sideways logic.

On my last day at the elementary school, I sat outside with a group of students and watched the boys play soccer. A fourth grade boy brought me a tiny frog with a heartbeat you could see through its throat. A third grade girl sat down beside me and picked up my hand.

“White,” she said, in English, touching the back of my hand. “Black,” she said, touching the back of hers. She touched the back of my hand again and said “beautiful.” Then she looked at my open mouth and smiled, so pleased to know these magical English words, and then bounded off before I could say anything else.

Children’s mouths have a way of cutting through all of the sideways language that adults try to teach; a way of being honest about what they’re thinking in the moment that they’re thinking it.

Honesty in children’s mouths scares us, I think, because it makes us look at ourselves. It makes us wonder what is learned, what is inborn, and what we would say if we stripped away the filters. But I don’t think that layering on language is the way to fix that. Teach ourselves, check one another, open up the kind of dialog we do at Macalester—of course—but let children keep us honest about what we’re teaching, how we’re living, who we are.

The staff asked us to be silent the first full morning we were there. It was a gorgeous spot on Lake Superior, a place I’d never been until this last week.

After breakfast, I walked down to the pebble beach and sat beside a log that had been left there for use as a bench. It was warm (incredibly warm for Minnesota) and the sun was on my face; something you don’t often get in March. I closed my eyes and meditated the best I know how (which, granted, is badly). But then I stopped, because I realized that I didn’t want to forget where I was, or even try to. So rather than pushing past sound, I started to focus on it. I listened to water with an intensity we’re not often allowed during the bustle of a day. And then I focused on the smell of the air and the lake and how crisp and cool it felt. And then I focused on the sun–how I could practically see it through my eyelids, and how you can hardly ever escape some measure of sight, even if you don’t know it. And then I focused on the way the sun touched my bare shoulders and the way the rocks felt beneath me. They were lovely rocks, all of them, I knew from walking around the day before. Many were perfectly round and black, tumbled by the lake until they were smooth. Some were white and spotted, others striped with some form of iron remnants.

I reached out and picked up one of the stones without looking, and I rolled it between my hands. It was slicked with wet sand and I cleaned it off with my eyes closed, slowly, rolling it over my skin until the stone was bare. It was smooth and flat and the perfect size for my palm, and I held it⎯thanked it, even, for the rest of the time I sat there.

When I sensed it was getting close to time for me to go and meet with the others, I opened my eyes and stretched, and then I looked at the stone in my hands.

It was lumpy and mottled and grey with a large chip in its side the I couldn’t even feel while holding it. I was surprised, almost horrified. How could my senses have lied so much?

And then I held it in my palm again, pressing it against the base of my fingers the way I had while “meditating.” and I saw that the chip and many of the other grooves fit against my fingers in a perfect, nested way. It nestled into me. I put the ugly stone into my bag and carried it for the rest of the retreat, and now it’s sitting by my bed at home. It reminded me to find the beauty⎯the fit⎯in everything. And I continue to be thankful for that.

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In other news, check this out! My lovely editor sent it along last week, and it made me so happy! Squee!

Here are the winners of the 21 Minus contest:

Emily C. won the bag of coffee from Laura!
Kira won the 10-page Teen Eyes critique!
Lissy won the copy of GRIM!
Kylie R.won the grand prize!

I will email the winners so that they can coordinate with the people sending them a prize! Congrats to the winners and thank you for participating!

This year, Joanne at Once Upon a Bookcase and I are teaming up to celebrate and draw attention to this day of awareness! And I did so by sharing the first-ever public reading of Grim. Head over to check out my video clip, and feel free to stop back and let me know what you think!

And remember: the giveaway for the 21 Minus tour is still open (and will be through Friday), so you should enter! Five free books, how could you say no??

But let’s get to the interviews! I had the opportunity to ask questions of the incredibly wonderful Madeline Jane, who runs Capricious Existence. Read on to learn her thoughts on NaNoWriMo, self-publishing, and her favorite writing spot!

1. Tell me a little about the first creative piece you remember writing. EVER. Yeah, I went there.
I think my very first creative piece I ever wrote was back in kindergarden, maybe first grade. I remember writing a story about Snow White and using some Disney Princess Game to illustrate it. I’m surprised it’s not a New York Times Best Seller yet. . .

2. If you had to describe your latest WIP in one word, what would it be?
Rustic-Indie. (Hyphenated words totally count as one. Or in my world they do.)

3. I noticed that you’re a NaNo-er too! What do you like about it? How did you first get involved?
I like that NaNo makes you write. When I went into it, I didn’t want to come out saying “I tried, and epically failed.” I’m sure it’s like that for a lot of headstrong writers. (Oh, just me?) My friend Brooke (brookerbusse.blogspot.com) wrote poetry and novels, and at the time I just wrote poetry. I guess I wanted to write a novel, too, and NaNo seemed like a good time.

4. Who is a role model in your life?
My role model(s) are probably some of the girls I dance with. Some of them are so talented, and they don’t let it go to waste. The show up to practice then go home and practice some more. They’re so driven and excited to do what they love. It’s just inspiring.

5. What is your take on the self-publishing/traditional publisher debate? Would you ever self-publish?
I think self publishing is great in it’s own “I’m making my dreams happen, and I have control” kind of way. On the other hand, traditional publishing is sort of a bigger reward in the whole “I wrote eighteen novels to get here, and tried twenty six different publishing” (exaggerated) kind of way. I’d rather traditionally publish. Just cause I suck at taking control.

6. If you could introduce one of your characters to a character in a published novel, who would they be?
I would probably introduce my character Ceil to the girl in Shiver. I totally forget her name. I just wasn’t a big fan of the book. I gave up half way through it. I just think the main character was extremely prissy and – dare I say – a bit wimpy. Ceil is definitely the opposite. I think Ceil would slap her. That’s fun, right?

7. What is your favorite place to write? Do you have any particular habits or needs as a writer?
My favorite place to write is my desk in the corner of my room because I know when I’m sitting there, it means I’m writing. The desk is sacred writing ground. I’ve been trying to start the whole habit of getting up half an hour early to write, but since musical (writers can have hobbies, right?) is nearing the end, practices are crazy and I’m worn out. When I don’t want to write I tell myself “Just write 100 words.” By then I get warmed up and write much more. If not, 100 is better than 0. I don’t think I have any crazy habits, though I think it would be fun to develop my own writing related religion just for myself to practice.

Check out Madeline’s blog to continue the tour and see who she interviewed!
Or you might want to skip ahead and check out the interview that Taryn Albright did with me! She asked great questions!

Finally, once more, you can find a complete list of contest rules and guidelines, as well as a list of all 21 Minus participants HERE.

Here’s a full list of participants:

Anna Waggener, Madeline Jane, Amanda the Aspiring, Brooke Busse, Kate Coursey, Laura of Laura +The Voices, Nick Hight, Gracie of I Am Writer Hear Me Roar, Mariah Irvin, Maggie and Constance of Twin Moment, Ella of Musings in Ink, and Taryn Albright.

A list of the prizes can be found here.

Giveaway rules:

1) Your shipping address must be within the US/Canada.
2) You must fill out the form below to enter.
3) Commenting on more than three blogs will get you extra points, as will collecting the one-word WIP descriptors from each interview, as will publicizing the project through social media.
4) Only one prize will be awarded per person.
5) The contest will be open until 5pm CST on Friday, March 9.

Note: Bloggers who participated in 21 Minus (other than myself) receive one entry automatically, but will only receive one additional entry for completing the form below.

Having trouble viewing the form? If you refresh the page and the problem persists, click here or email me.

Meanwhile, it’s time to reveal the additional winner right here on my website. Drum roll, please…

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Congrats, Fred! I’ll be in touch to get your address!

One winner will receive a signed, personalized copy of Grim, which I will send in time to line up with the launch in June.

One winner will receive a bag of coffee, donated by Laura.

One winner will receive a ten page critique through Teen Eyes, donated by Kate Coursey.

And the grand prize winner will get to choose five books from the following list:

Border Crossing by Jessica Lee Anderson
Cinder by Marissa Meyer
Divergent by Veronica Roth
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Girl Meets Boy edited by Kelly Milner Halls
The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne Valente
Graceling by Kristin Cashore
Liar by Justine Larbalestier
The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Split by Swati Avasthi
The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin
Wildefire by Karsten Knight.
Wither by Lauren DeStefano

To enter the giveaway, click here.

Here we go…

1. Are you a plotter or a pantser and why?
I wish I were a true panster, because it’s something that I (usually) quite enjoy, but I’ve also found that my plots tend to fizzle out around the 20,000 word mark. I’m still working on finding a true balance that feels right to me, since I also dislike having to keep to an in-depth plot, so I’ve recently been doing a light “sketch” of a general arc, but leaving enough major gaps that I can still enjoy the discovery process—because that’s inevitably what keeps me going.

2. Do you think you are the type of person who plans for every contingency, or do you prefer to live life how it comes?
Contrary to the way I write (which is a chance for my own creative and adventurous side to truly come out), I plan, plan, plan when it comes to real life. I like knowing where I’m going to be in six months, and knowing what that will mean to me emotionally, mentally, and schedule-wise. That makes it especially hard to be a college senior right now!

3. What is your favorite song and by whom?
That’s a toughie. I’m really terrible at the what’s-your-favorite questions, especially because it really depends on my mood. iTunes says that my top 25 most played songs are all Iron & Wine and Beyonce, which probably tells you something about the range of my musical tastes.

4. Do you sing it loudly to yourself and if so, where (shower, car, American Idol)?
Iron & Wine–no; Beyonce–yes, in the car. No American Idol for me, I promise!

5. Are you still friends with anyone you went to middle school with?
Yes! But my middle school and high school were combined, so maybe that’s cheating.

6. What profession would you try outside of writing?
I’m currently working as a development intern and really enjoy the process of checking grants and composing letters for potential donors, etc. (and planning our spring benefit, which is going to be awesome!). When I was seven I wanted to be a zookeeper.

7. How many languages do you speak?
I speak quite broken versions of Thai, Arabic, and German, and a markedly less broken version of English. I would like to learn Farsi and am still kicking myself for never taking Spanish.

8. If you were an animal or creature, which would you like to be?
A Gray wolf, but hopefully not one that lives near a ranch in the US…

9. What is your favorite food?
Anything with sticky rice; alternatively, anything with seafood. I love fried red snapper and plah-too, a fish whose name I do not know in English.

10. What piece of technology could you not live without?
My computer, easily. I can only write via typing, so even if the internet weren’t around, I would survive.

11. Do you have a favourite piece of furniture?
I love my coffee table! I found it on craigslist when I was furnishing my apartment eight months ago. I had known exactly what style I wanted, and it took weeks of obsessive combing, but I did! I also really love my “tea table,” which you can see in the photo above. Also a craigslist find, but glammed out with spray paint.

And I think most people have already been tagged, so I’m going to make like Jeigh and tag… YOU! Answer one of the questions above and we can all learn a bit about each other.